Open letter to Hawks, re: Recent Hawk Attacks

Dear Hawk that has been bothering my ducks,

I am sick and tired with you trying to kill my chickens and ducks.  I really would like you to stop as it has been annoying me.  You have been terrorizing my chickens.  How would YOU feel if you were the one who would have to deal with someone trying to kill you each day?  Pretty unhappy, I'm sure.

You have left a scratch on one of my ducks, from yesterday, and that incident really scared the duck.  As a result, I was going to name him "I was almost hawk food."  But, in the end I named him Scratches, which is theoretically the perfect name.  If you are reading this, then just know that if I find your nest, I will evict you from my property.

You have been living on my property and exploiting my chickens for some fun little game of yours.  If you want food, just go look somewhere else.  Go look in a volcano, there's probably lots of food there.  Or, maybe nuclear reactors contain lots of chickens, just asking to be eaten.  So go there, and leave my property.

Thank you.
Henry